Hi there! Hope this is somewhere in the vicinity of what you were looking for. Thanks so much for the prompt!
Title from Eartha Kitt's "I want to be evil." If you haven't heard it, you should.
Disclaimer: None of this is real. I do not know if Ryan Guzman likes chocolate cak, nor do I have any knowledge about the motivations for the casting and creative decisions on the show.
This got SO MUCH LONGER than I was expecting it to. Nevertheless, I have now dipped my toe into the Ryliver fandom and the water is indeed fine. :)
Content warning: While I wouldn't call what Ryan experiences in this story to be disordered eating, I also acknowledge I am far from the expert on this. There is also a brief discussion of ED. If you are triggered by this topic, you may want to avoid this story just in case.
that dark brown taste by anonymous
When Ryan gets the pages at the end of a neverending Tuesday shoot a couple of episodes into Season 9, he's surprised.
Well, not surprised surprised; he's known this day was coming since the move to ABC, when Tim had taken him aside and asked him if he was still willing to run with a Buck-Eddie romance.
“Yeah, of course, I mean, I'm not homophobic,” Ryan said.
Tim shook his head. “It's not a question of prejudice, it's a question of whether you're committed to stretching as an actor.”
“I think I've shown over the last five years I'm willing to do that,” Ryan said. “But if we're talking – uh, intimacy, how much stretching can we do on an 8 PM network slot anyway?”
“Fox had us on a pretty tight leash,” Tim conceded. “ABC? Totally different ball game. Your ass isn't going to be hanging out, but there could be some – well. I haven't written it yet, and I need to lay the groundwork before we get there, but as much as we can get away with.”
“Huh,” Ryan said. He honestly hadn't been expecting that, but whatever, it was fine. He'd done things for a paycheck that were a lot more exposing than kissing a big British vegan. “Well, count me in.”
If you'd asked him then and there, he'd have guessed that 'laying the groundwork' wouldn't take any more than a season, but it's an ensemble show and Tim keeps getting distracted by paying homage to his numerous influences, from Hitchcock to slasher movies to schlock disaster flicks.
Still, Ryan starts thinking about what it might be like to kiss Oliver. He hasn't done a lot of on-screen kisses, and never with another guy. He starts getting bogged down in the logistics. Where do the noses go? His isn't small, and Oliver's is huge. How would Eddie kiss Buck? Would it be soft and romantic, cradling his face in his hands, or would there be a lot of – well, manhandling?
He wonders if Oliver is thinking about the same things. He decides against asking him, because it would get weird if he hasn't been thinking about it.
They bring back the Hulk's kid during the Poseidon Adventure opener, and he's going to kiss Oliver instead. It's fine, it makes sense, you can't just turn them both gay overnight. Ryan finds out from Lou that Tim had been planning to make Eddie gay first, but flipped a coin or something. Ryan admits to himself he's not all that crazy about kissing a lot of different dudes so maybe it's better this way.
He doesn't tell Oliver that, because then he'd get all up in his space and murmur 'you want me to be your one and only, that's so sweet' with that lopsided smirk of his, and Ryan would have to go back to his trailer and bang his head against the wall until he fucked up his makeup.
Lou likes to name drop. Of course, his own name is technically a name drop, so Ryan supposes he comes by it naturally. His dad used to hang out with Schwarzennegger when Lou was a kid, so he’s got the impression down pat. It wears thin pretty quickly.
Being British and under fifty, Oliver has never heard of the original Incredible Hulk show. Ryan privately finds this hugely funny.
The set is closed for the first kissing scene between Oliver and Lou, and Ryan's not on set that day anyway. When the episode finally airs, he finds himself making note of Lou's technique. He's not impressed. The finger under the chin thing is cheesy, in his opinion.
He would have done it differently, is all.
There are other kissing scenes, even a (pretty tame, Oliver says) waking up together scene, but most of them get cut. And then Tommy dumps Buck in 8A and right after that scene Buck heads to Eddie's place, where Eddie has been dancing in his underwear.
“One thing we can always count on,” Oliver says, chuckling as he and Ryan run the blocking before the first take, “is that this show is as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face.”
He's looking at Ryan's thighs as he says it, then jerks his head up like he's just realized what he’s doing. Ryan smirks, and Oliver rolls his eyes.
“Like what you see, big boy?” Ryan asks. He does a little shimmy, still loose from the dance, which of course is another shameless movie rip-off. He doesn’t mind because it was ridiculous and fun and – freeing, which is weird when you consider he was gyrating to Bob Seger in front of a bunch of grips and cameramen. Well, and Oliver, who he thinks was there for most of it.
“Shut up,” Oliver says, putting the emphasis on the first word and smashing it into the second, really emphasizing the 't' instead of softening it into a 'd' the way an American would. SHUTup. Ryan doesn’t know if it’s pathetic that he’s starting to recognize some of the quirks of Oliver’s particular variety of London accent, but he is.
He laughs. “Okay, Skepta.”
“That’s Stormzy, man,” Oliver sighs, but he’s smiling as he says it. He’s been initiating Ryan into the world of UK grime music, which Ryan has to admit is pretty good. He’s even done a little dancing late at night to a couple of tracks.
Ryan feels lighter, like they're finally moving forward again. All signs are now pointing to 8B – he and Oliver both agree they seem to be headed in that direction at full speed.
And then Tim decides to kill Bobby. Not pretend kill him to bring him back like they always do on this Looney Tunes show, but honest to god kills him, gives him fucking rat pox of all things. Besides being a complete shock to everyone, it turns the back half of the season into a rushed, tangled mess, and the train they thought they were on gets derailed and goes flying over a cliff.
Morale on set is most definitely affected; Ryan can feel it in the air, even though nobody seems to want to talk about it. They tiptoe around each other and around Peter, who's putting on a brave face like he hasn't just been kicked in the teeth after giving eight of his best years to that character. The days get even longer in the mad dash to meet production deadlines around the changes. For the first time since his modeling days, Ryan starts to dread going to work.
It fucking sucks.
The Saturday after Peter's last scene, Kenny invites Ryan and Oliver to come to his place and get shitfaced.
“Creative decision my ass,” Kenny mutters darkly. “He fired Pete because he didn't like him standing up for the cast and the crew, trying to push the directors to limit the number of takes. And now he's made it clear to all of us what happens if you step out of line.”
Oliver shakes his head. “You honestly think that's why – did Peter say anything to you? Did Tim?” He's drinking another one of those disgusting black beers he likes, the ones that are most of the way to flat the second they leave the can. Luckily, Kenny has also laid in plenty of normal booze too, along with the bottle of Clase Azul reposado Ryan's brought with him.
“No,” Kenny admits. “Pete's still saying there were no ulterior motives. And I might be talking out of my ass. But I've been around this industry too long to be anything but cynical right now.”
“Fuck me,” Oliver breathes.
“Nope, that's my job,” Ryan hears himself say. He's been on the tequila for about an hour, and if he's fully sober come 6 AM Monday it's going to be a minor miracle.
Kenny's staring at him, and Ryan frowns and waves a hand. “I mean, Eddie's job. Either way, I guess there won't be any fucking. This isn't HBO. Third base, tops. Or not. At this point, I don't have a clue what's going to happen next.” Maybe I'll be the next one out the door, he thinks. Not for stirring shit, just for being shit at my job.
And okay, Ryan is not going to think about that, because he's still saving for two college funds. The rumors have been flying since the announcement, and he knows that’s been the theory among some of the crew who are more active in their unions. Ever since Rico was killed after falling asleep at the wheel, there was no denying Peter had been pushing to cut the hours shorter so that people weren't so exhausted when they went home. Which was kind of difficult when your showrunner was perpetually changing the script at the last minute so that they were often racing to make their air date. Ryan hasn't been aware of any tension between Peter and Tim, but then again he likes to stay as far away from drama as possible. He has enough of that in his private life.
Maybe Peter thought he was untouchable. Either way, Ryan has never been under any illusions about his own status. Some part of him still can’t believe he’s getting away with this shit and getting paid for it.
Kenny scrubs at his face. “Christ, the last thing I want to do after the wrap is go do press on the other side of the country.”
“If you keep crying in interviews, you won't have to worry about that,” Ryan mutters.
Kenny laughs bitterly. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me. What an absolute clusterfuck that was. I'm honestly surprised they're still letting me go to New York, though I know I don't have any more formal interviews lined up.”
Oliver lays a reassuring paw on his shoulder. “You're there to look pretty as fuck and don't you forget it.”
Kenny snorts. “Eye candy Choi, that's what they call me,” he says, taking another swig of his beer.
“Look on it as a free trip to New York,” Ryan offers. “That's how I'm seeing it.”
“Good point,” Kenny says, saluting him with his bottle. “And to my immense relief I won't be the one fielding dozens of questions on when and how Eddie and Buck are going to make it to third base.”
Ryan chokes on his margarita. “Jesus, Kenny.”
“That's the spirit. Every cloud, yeah?” Oliver says breezily, though when Ryan glances over at him his birthmark is practically glowing.
that dark brown taste, Ryliver, 1/4
Title from Eartha Kitt's "I want to be evil." If you haven't heard it, you should.
Disclaimer: None of this is real. I do not know if Ryan Guzman likes chocolate cak, nor do I have any knowledge about the motivations for the casting and creative decisions on the show.
This got SO MUCH LONGER than I was expecting it to. Nevertheless, I have now dipped my toe into the Ryliver fandom and the water is indeed fine. :)
Content warning: While I wouldn't call what Ryan experiences in this story to be disordered eating, I also acknowledge I am far from the expert on this. There is also a brief discussion of ED. If you are triggered by this topic, you may want to avoid this story just in case.
that dark brown taste
by anonymous
When Ryan gets the pages at the end of a neverending Tuesday shoot a couple of episodes into Season 9, he's surprised.
Well, not surprised surprised; he's known this day was coming since the move to ABC, when Tim had taken him aside and asked him if he was still willing to run with a Buck-Eddie romance.
“Yeah, of course, I mean, I'm not homophobic,” Ryan said.
Tim shook his head. “It's not a question of prejudice, it's a question of whether you're committed to stretching as an actor.”
“I think I've shown over the last five years I'm willing to do that,” Ryan said. “But if we're talking – uh, intimacy, how much stretching can we do on an 8 PM network slot anyway?”
“Fox had us on a pretty tight leash,” Tim conceded. “ABC? Totally different ball game. Your ass isn't going to be hanging out, but there could be some – well. I haven't written it yet, and I need to lay the groundwork before we get there, but as much as we can get away with.”
“Huh,” Ryan said. He honestly hadn't been expecting that, but whatever, it was fine. He'd done things for a paycheck that were a lot more exposing than kissing a big British vegan. “Well, count me in.”
If you'd asked him then and there, he'd have guessed that 'laying the groundwork' wouldn't take any more than a season, but it's an ensemble show and Tim keeps getting distracted by paying homage to his numerous influences, from Hitchcock to slasher movies to schlock disaster flicks.
Still, Ryan starts thinking about what it might be like to kiss Oliver. He hasn't done a lot of on-screen kisses, and never with another guy. He starts getting bogged down in the logistics. Where do the noses go? His isn't small, and Oliver's is huge. How would Eddie kiss Buck? Would it be soft and romantic, cradling his face in his hands, or would there be a lot of – well, manhandling?
He wonders if Oliver is thinking about the same things. He decides against asking him, because it would get weird if he hasn't been thinking about it.
They bring back the Hulk's kid during the Poseidon Adventure opener, and he's going to kiss Oliver instead. It's fine, it makes sense, you can't just turn them both gay overnight. Ryan finds out from Lou that Tim had been planning to make Eddie gay first, but flipped a coin or something. Ryan admits to himself he's not all that crazy about kissing a lot of different dudes so maybe it's better this way.
He doesn't tell Oliver that, because then he'd get all up in his space and murmur 'you want me to be your one and only, that's so sweet' with that lopsided smirk of his, and Ryan would have to go back to his trailer and bang his head against the wall until he fucked up his makeup.
Lou likes to name drop. Of course, his own name is technically a name drop, so Ryan supposes he comes by it naturally. His dad used to hang out with Schwarzennegger when Lou was a kid, so he’s got the impression down pat. It wears thin pretty quickly.
Being British and under fifty, Oliver has never heard of the original Incredible Hulk show. Ryan privately finds this hugely funny.
The set is closed for the first kissing scene between Oliver and Lou, and Ryan's not on set that day anyway. When the episode finally airs, he finds himself making note of Lou's technique. He's not impressed. The finger under the chin thing is cheesy, in his opinion.
He would have done it differently, is all.
There are other kissing scenes, even a (pretty tame, Oliver says) waking up together scene, but most of them get cut. And then Tommy dumps Buck in 8A and right after that scene Buck heads to Eddie's place, where Eddie has been dancing in his underwear.
“One thing we can always count on,” Oliver says, chuckling as he and Ryan run the blocking before the first take, “is that this show is as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face.”
He's looking at Ryan's thighs as he says it, then jerks his head up like he's just realized what he’s doing. Ryan smirks, and Oliver rolls his eyes.
“Like what you see, big boy?” Ryan asks. He does a little shimmy, still loose from the dance, which of course is another shameless movie rip-off. He doesn’t mind because it was ridiculous and fun and – freeing, which is weird when you consider he was gyrating to Bob Seger in front of a bunch of grips and cameramen. Well, and Oliver, who he thinks was there for most of it.
“Shut up,” Oliver says, putting the emphasis on the first word and smashing it into the second, really emphasizing the 't' instead of softening it into a 'd' the way an American would. SHUTup. Ryan doesn’t know if it’s pathetic that he’s starting to recognize some of the quirks of Oliver’s particular variety of London accent, but he is.
He laughs. “Okay, Skepta.”
“That’s Stormzy, man,” Oliver sighs, but he’s smiling as he says it. He’s been initiating Ryan into the world of UK grime music, which Ryan has to admit is pretty good. He’s even done a little dancing late at night to a couple of tracks.
Ryan feels lighter, like they're finally moving forward again. All signs are now pointing to 8B – he and Oliver both agree they seem to be headed in that direction at full speed.
And then Tim decides to kill Bobby. Not pretend kill him to bring him back like they always do on this Looney Tunes show, but honest to god kills him, gives him fucking rat pox of all things. Besides being a complete shock to everyone, it turns the back half of the season into a rushed, tangled mess, and the train they thought they were on gets derailed and goes flying over a cliff.
Morale on set is most definitely affected; Ryan can feel it in the air, even though nobody seems to want to talk about it. They tiptoe around each other and around Peter, who's putting on a brave face like he hasn't just been kicked in the teeth after giving eight of his best years to that character. The days get even longer in the mad dash to meet production deadlines around the changes. For the first time since his modeling days, Ryan starts to dread going to work.
It fucking sucks.
The Saturday after Peter's last scene, Kenny invites Ryan and Oliver to come to his place and get shitfaced.
“Creative decision my ass,” Kenny mutters darkly. “He fired Pete because he didn't like him standing up for the cast and the crew, trying to push the directors to limit the number of takes. And now he's made it clear to all of us what happens if you step out of line.”
Oliver shakes his head. “You honestly think that's why – did Peter say anything to you? Did Tim?” He's drinking another one of those disgusting black beers he likes, the ones that are most of the way to flat the second they leave the can. Luckily, Kenny has also laid in plenty of normal booze too, along with the bottle of Clase Azul reposado Ryan's brought with him.
“No,” Kenny admits. “Pete's still saying there were no ulterior motives. And I might be talking out of my ass. But I've been around this industry too long to be anything but cynical right now.”
“Fuck me,” Oliver breathes.
“Nope, that's my job,” Ryan hears himself say. He's been on the tequila for about an hour, and if he's fully sober come 6 AM Monday it's going to be a minor miracle.
Kenny's staring at him, and Ryan frowns and waves a hand. “I mean, Eddie's job. Either way, I guess there won't be any fucking. This isn't HBO. Third base, tops. Or not. At this point, I don't have a clue what's going to happen next.” Maybe I'll be the next one out the door, he thinks. Not for stirring shit, just for being shit at my job.
And okay, Ryan is not going to think about that, because he's still saving for two college funds. The rumors have been flying since the announcement, and he knows that’s been the theory among some of the crew who are more active in their unions. Ever since Rico was killed after falling asleep at the wheel, there was no denying Peter had been pushing to cut the hours shorter so that people weren't so exhausted when they went home. Which was kind of difficult when your showrunner was perpetually changing the script at the last minute so that they were often racing to make their air date. Ryan hasn't been aware of any tension between Peter and Tim, but then again he likes to stay as far away from drama as possible. He has enough of that in his private life.
Maybe Peter thought he was untouchable. Either way, Ryan has never been under any illusions about his own status. Some part of him still can’t believe he’s getting away with this shit and getting paid for it.
Kenny scrubs at his face. “Christ, the last thing I want to do after the wrap is go do press on the other side of the country.”
“If you keep crying in interviews, you won't have to worry about that,” Ryan mutters.
Kenny laughs bitterly. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me. What an absolute clusterfuck that was. I'm honestly surprised they're still letting me go to New York, though I know I don't have any more formal interviews lined up.”
Oliver lays a reassuring paw on his shoulder. “You're there to look pretty as fuck and don't you forget it.”
Kenny snorts. “Eye candy Choi, that's what they call me,” he says, taking another swig of his beer.
“Look on it as a free trip to New York,” Ryan offers. “That's how I'm seeing it.”
“Good point,” Kenny says, saluting him with his bottle. “And to my immense relief I won't be the one fielding dozens of questions on when and how Eddie and Buck are going to make it to third base.”
Ryan chokes on his margarita. “Jesus, Kenny.”
“That's the spirit. Every cloud, yeah?” Oliver says breezily, though when Ryan glances over at him his birthmark is practically glowing.